The Winds Are Changing

The past 6 months have been difficult, to say the least. Frustration has risen in a number of areas of my life and seems only to grow. There are times that I feel trapped. It seems as though the walls are closing in on me and I have nowhere to go. At times my stomach feels like it's all a mess and my head is going to explode. Suffice it to say that 1. I'm not crazy and 2. I don't really have a peace about the path my life is currently taking.

But praise the Lord for my friends. I have been blessed with wonderful friends. In fact, my friends have been such a comfort and joy in my life that when I'm around them I can push all my struggles to the back burner and just be me. And honestly, me is just who I need to be.

I finally started to open up about these things to Daniel and AnneMarie about a week ago. I think they were a little surprised at the extent of how I've been feeling the past month or two, but they offered the suggestion that I've been needing to hear all along. Almost simultaneously they offered this answer: Journeyman. I believe AnneMarie said it this way, "I can't see you not being overseas for 7 years, that's so depressing for you it hurts me to hear it!" Later that night, Daniel advised me to make sure there was a peace; it needs to be of the Lord. Truth be told, the next day was the most peaceful day that I've experienced for a long time and a week later I still have a great peace about the decision.

Allow me to break down the decision. I don't believe that God has a specific will for my life that I have to follow exactly to experience the abundant life Jesus talked about. Biblically, that is ridiculous and something that I will soon write about. But here are the basics: 1. It doesn't violate God's moral will (the Bible). 2. This desire to serve overseas church-planting is very Biblical. 3. This desire lines up with His desire, which the Bible says will happen if I'm seeking Him. Therefore, my decision is perfectly in line with God's will. Furthermore, the peace I have comes through the Comforter that Jesus sent to us, yeah thats right, Mr. Holy Spirit.

So, here is the plan with a Lord willing attached to the fine print. I put in my 2 weeks notice at work this past Saturday, shifted all my classes to the late afternoon, and am seeking a full-time, normal job where I don't work third shift, I'm not tired and irritable all the time, and I'm not constantly out in the freezing cold all night. As an aside, my ideal morning looks like this: wake up early, read my Bible, go for a run, eat breakfast, and go to work. Yeah, that hasn't happened for a looooong time and I feel like I need it to function properly, or at least joyfully.

The Journeyman application has 3 parts. The first two parts must be reviewed before they email you the full application with all the bells and whistles. This is the stage I'm at now; I'm waiting for the full application. For all to go according to plan I need to have this application completed by February 6. My plan is to go to the Journeyman interview conference being held April 20-24. If I don't get the application done in time, it's not a big deal and I'll just go to the May 10-14 conference. Basically this is a 4 day deal where we do group interviews and solo interviews so that the IMB can determine whether or not they want to send us. Also during this time I'll have the opportunity to pick an assignment. If they bring me on I'll attend the July 27-Sept 24 Orientation and leave for my destination probably by October 1. This is subject to change, but at the present moment this is my goal.

This desire has been driving me for 4 years. I'm ready to go. Please pray for me as I go through this process.