Get Out Of Bed Man

Next to Dorm 12, now a girl's dorm, stands my old reading tree. As a sophomore, I spent many hours in its high branches reading anything and everything. Crossing the parking lot, the sight of Dorm 14 brought a smile to my pensive countenance. Senior year I would often stop by Jessica and Sarah's window to talk on the way to my dorm. With the Keyhole parking lot behind me, I crossed the lamp-lit street to the intramural field and spent a few minutes watching an ultimate frisbee game. The customary light up frisbee spurred memories of freshman year. Night after night, Baina and Jeff would power their light up frisbees the length of the field as I battled with Aaron Meng in the endzone. His athleticism and defensive insticts often triumphed over my amature freshman frisbee skills.

So many memories. Liberty, as I remember it, is a defining part of my life. But as I walked the campus, my Liberty was but a distant memory. Today's student, barely out of high school, walks the campus with his head buried in his cell phone, earphones poking through his hair. I found myself lost in a sea of unknown faces. My friends have moved on. The freshman hall that I led as a senior is now dispersed off campus or in scattered leadership positions. My "enemies" from dorm 16 are now a hall of 70 girls. This Liberty is a great place. But my Liberty now abides solely in the memory banks.

The life that I have come to know and enjoy is amongst Southeastern Seminary students who, on average, are about seven years older than the archetypal Liberty student. The games, pranks, and experiences of my life at Liberty are but a distant, hazy dream to which I may not return. Now awake, this is the dream for which I grasp. I can no more relive those days than a man may resume his place as last night's sleeping hero. Yet, there are some who find themselves still lying in bed striving to gain one last experience of some sub-conscious world. There is no going back. It is time to get out of bed.

"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." Every man must accept that the childish will never again be possible. Now, as a man, the future is bright. I will never return to those Liberty days, but they have prepared me well for my life's task. The fruit of that time will always be a part of my life. But for that fruit to sprout other fruit bearing trees I must accept my place in society as a man and follow God's call to go.

The real world awaits. It is time for me to get out of bed.

Retraction: Rick Warren Is Alright With Me

A few months ago, I wrote the post Rick Warren Is Alright With Me. Recently, I read this article concerning Rick Warren that has made me regret my words. I am not one to go around slamming other pastors and teachers, but I do think the body of Christ needs to confront issues that threaten the Church. At first glance, ministries like Saddleback, Lakewood, and Mars Hill (Michigan) appear to be vibrant and monstrously successful. But the anthropocentrism (state of being man-centered) that pervades the doctrines of these churches must be combated by Bible-believing Christians.

In II Timothy 4:2-4, Paul warns Timothy with these words: "Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths."

I take the time to write these things not as an attack, but as a warning to a self-destructive American Church that breaks my heart. We need pastors who give the glory to God. We need pastors who will teach the Bible with respect to authorial intent. We need Jesus.

Today I experienced one of the most encouraging conversations I have had in a long time. My good friend, Bear Yarbrough, is raising support over the next two years to begin his life work in Mali amongst a tribal group of 2.7 million people. His team's 35-40 year plan involves four years of diligent language and cultural study followed by years of a systematic discipleship, church planting, pastoral training, and Bible translation ministry. His desire for the end of his life can be summed up in these words, "I want to sit back at the end of my work and watch the people preach, teach, and disciple one another. I will sit under their teaching and marvel at what God has done."

This is the heart of a godly man. This is the heart of a pastor.

Proud To Be An American

Justice. Representative government. Freedom. Civil rights. Equality. Self-sacrifice. Morality. All in decline. By these ideals the United States constitution was written. This national document America holds up next to the sacred texts. And just as sacred texts are further undermined by each successive generation, so is the constitution. These values upon which the constitution was written to stand are now nearly replaced in American society.

Justice is replaced by greed. Democracy by socialism. Freedom exchanged for bondage. Civil rights for oppression. Equality is being skewed to communism. Self-promotion now rules the political scene. Sex worship has overtaken morality.

Henry David Thoreau writes, "[We] hesitate, and we regret, and sometimes we petition; but we do nothing in earnest and with effect. We will wait, well disposed, for others to remedy the evil, that we may no longer have it to regret... There are nine hundred and ninety-nine patrons of virtue to one virtuous man."

You can point the finger at liberals, but the blame rests on us all. Silence is consent. As the years passed, we have ceded access to justice, legislation, and rule. We permitted the redefinition of life, standing by as infants were slaughtered by the millions and the sick permitted to expire. We watched as family and marriage made the transformation from firm foundation to nebulous concept. We neglected the needs of our own children by allowing them to be brainwashed by hostile education and culture.

They fought against a well-oiled and just system. They fed you lies and over-exaggerated the democratic flaws. They took full advantage of the right to freedom in order to steal yours. They advocated everything the Creator hates. They stole from Christians the idea of education and used it to indoctrinate young minds. One institution at a time they overtook to patiently weed out the defenders of the weak. From Harvard to Yale to Duke, they systematically wiped out the only true moral voice and, consequently, the one that opposed them.

"Down with the bourgeoisie!," they cry. Then, in the night, the unthinkable happens. One morning you awake to a wholly new bourgeoisie. Now, they have the power. Now, they have absolute control. Now, they make the rules. All the wonderful promises are dust in the wind. The very people they once claimed to defend, they now oppress. Yet, hindsight shows that they were oppressors all along. Subtle, coercive oppression that seduced you and teased at your senses. She lured you in with the promise of pleasure, security, and unity. She bound you in chains while you slept. And she left you to die.

When will the revolution occur? Will it take 30 more years of famine or plague or sword to usher in their great and glorious new age? Or, maybe the next great disaster will serve as the conduit to their seizure of power. Perhaps all they need is the panic of a self-induced healthcare crisis. They promise deliverance. They promise peace. They promise prosperity. Money. Power. Control. They even promise freedom. But freedom is just as easily given as it is taken.

"Look to the past!," you say. "What of the great Christian men on which this nation was founded? We must return to the values that our founding fathers held."

For centuries America has benefited from Christian reforms. The very concept of social justice spurred on a system of checks and balances that leveled the playing field for all. The contribution of hospitals, schools, science, and freedom permitted Christian influence to be tolerated a little longer. A pagan nation, as many other pagan nations, had for a time been tamed for use by the true King. Pragmatism rode the wave of Christian ideals to the peak of civilization at which time Christians themselves were no longer necessary. Do not fool yourself, this nation you love is not a Christian nation. It never was.

From its inception, America has been a pagan nation infiltrated by Christians. Sympathetic deists wrote the constitution in such a way as to allow such an invasion. The truth of Scripture as absent from their Bibles as an utterly transcendent god from his own universe. For the proof of paganism, one need look no further than the nation's sacred temples. Modeled after the greatest idolators in the history of the world, our high places resemble those of ancient Egypt's, Helen's, and Roma's. Men of old immortalized and worshiped as gods. The city centered by a rising obelisk that reaches toward the sun and its god, Amon Ra. Men, women, and children of all colors and walks of life journey to this sacred place to pay homage to the savior, democracy.

In like fashion to Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Ezekiel, men such as Jonathan Edwards, George Whitefield, Samuel Adams, Charles Finney, and Martin Luther King, Jr. served as prophets calling the nation to repent and change its ways. Always an uphill battle, Christians pressed forward against criticisms, slanders, and outright paganism. With the rise of the neo-liberal, the Christian purportedly carries no more value for this society. The difficult soil that Christians have toiled to plow for hundreds of years has nearly completed the process of petrification. These are the very rocks that tomorrow will be used to stone the faithful.

The time is soon coming when all Americans will be united. We'll strap up our boots, throw on our matching jackets, and march to the beat of the one drummer. Our American pride will be evidenced by the insignia worn by all. "Sieg Heil" replaced with a new, more chilling cry born out of the ashes of democracy. In the new fascist state, Neo-Arians will take precedence. Yet, Arians they will not be, but Moors. They will gawk with pride at their people's greatest accomplishment. As democracy yields to sharia law, a message of terror will ripple through the nations.

As has been from the beginning, the ebb and flow of history continues. Countless nations have undergone the Judeo-Christian transformation to the same demise. As the pagan nation weakens, it takes Christianity as its bride. Soon after, the pseudo-Christian paganism emerges from the womb. Weak and wobbly, it is quickly preyed upon by the conquering Muslims, or worse. The message of the past remains unheeded. No government will save. Government is only as perfect as the people that rule.

But is there hope? Yes, indeed. Yet, it comes not from where you may expect.

Amos is an account of the impending destruction of Israel, 8th century B.C. The slaughter awaits. Invasion is on the horizon. Captivity marches west from Assyria.

"Hear this word which I take up for you as a dirge, O house of Israel:

She has fallen, she will not rise again --
The virgin Israel,
She lies neglected on her land;
There is none to raise her up.

For thus says the Lord God,
'The city which goes forth a thousand strong will have a hundred left,
And the one which goes forth a hundred strong will have ten left to the house of Israel.'"

It is at this time that God sends one last call to repentance. This is a call that could save America should she choose to hear it.

"Seek the Lord that you may live.
Or He will break forth like a fire, O house of Joseph, and it will consume with none to quench it for Bethel, for those who turn justice into wormwood and cast righteousness down to the earth."

Amos 5:2-3, 6-7

Outlaws and Fugitives... Or, Law-Abiding Citizens?

The sound came from far away. An indiscriminate buzz moving nearer as it passed from another world into mine. The beginning and source were utterly unknown to me as I lay there helpless, constricted. Then, instantly, the realization of clucking snapped me to consciousness. Bright rays of awareness burned away the fog of deep sleep. My body was sweating wrapped in the zero-degree mummy bag. My nose, frozen, had become a conductor of the ice cold air from the bag's sole opening. Sitting up, I discovered the source of the clucking as it stood in the doorway looking at me. Two more steps in my direction was all the chicken could muster before fleeing a hungry dog through the entrance into the first beams of sunlight.

Searching my surroundings, I found everything precisely as I had remembered the previous night before sleep relieved me from a hard day of traveling. Piled in the corner of two baked-mud walls were mounds of potatoes. Corn hung from the thick, wooden rafters. Next to me were three other undisturbed sleeping bags. A few yards farther lay the already lit fire on the other side of the hut. Sitting next to the fire was Ewan, our host. He sat reading. Right where we had left him: by the fire, reading.

For hours the previous afternoon he had pointed to nearly every part of his body speaking his people's specific dialect in hopes that we would catch on. While eating potatoes and an unknown stew, we repeated these words and phrases back to him. With every new word, he joyfully chattered on while sporadically laughing at our repeated failures to correctly articulate. Eventually he tired of these games and the onus was left to us to stir conversation. It was at this time that I took the opportunity to begin the mission for which we had come. I presented to him our gift. This gift had traveled thousands of miles and passed, undetected, to where it did not legally belong.

Two days prior, our team of twelve had arrived in an undisclosed Chinese city. In a small, local hotel we piled into a room that we would never again see. It was here that we met our contact. Rosco, as he called himself, briefed each of the three teams individually as the others unpacked boxes of contraband and equally disseminated the materials amongst the twelve. Three hours later, we said our final goodbyes to Rosco and boarded an AirChina flight to a destination 300 miles away.

On the ground, Bear led our team of four to the bus depot from which we traveled four hours to our base city. After fighting through jetlag for a sleepless first night, we packed up our gear and began the trek over the mountain. For five hours, we made our own trail through the pines before discovering a breath-taking view from the peak to the valley and city below. Here the course was decided upon and the subsequent two hour hike took us across the ridge to the first village. It was here that we met Ewan, who now sat enjoying the rewards of our difficult task.

John 3 had been the catalyst to his mostly uninterrupted reading. As I placed the Bible in his hands, I opened it to John chapter 3 and opened my hands in a reading motion. For the rest of the night this book arrested his full attention but for three brief visits by other villagers. Each stayed long enough to experience Ewan's excitement before leaving him to return to his solace by the fire.

After breakfast, we left satisfied, not so much by the Chinese tribal cuisine, but by the first taste of success. We set out for the first of many more villages that scattered the mountainside opposite the valley city. We knew the coming days would be long and demanding.

Two years later, I find myself preparing for a very similar task. This time, my adventure will extend the week to two and a half years. And rather than China, I will be backpacking into the mountains of Africa. One other common denominator is the ethical issue with which I am still faced.

Is it a godly course of action to enter a country and violate their laws by smuggling in the gospel and corresponding materials?

Due to the nature of the question in conjunction with my lack of ethics experience, I am going to consult other sources for an answer. The following sources include a Christian philosopher, a secular philosopher, the Old Testament, the New Testament, and a modern day example.

At the turn of the 5th century, Augustine wrote a letter to Boniface that we now know as "Of the Correction of the Donatists". The Donatists were an early sect that branched away from the mainstream Christianity of the day. Unlike sects such as the Arians, they held no theological disparities with the Church. This sect simply refused to gather under the umbrella of the Church. Augustine writes this letter to Boniface towards the end of the movement to encourage him to allow reformed Donatists back into the Church. He notes in the letter not only their break from the Church, but the event by which they left. The false charges this group brought to the government against Bishop Caecilianus of Carthage marked the beginning of the secession.

It is in this context that he speaks of the ungodly nature of their actions in juxtaposition to what is right according to God. He writes:

"For, morever, when emperors enact bad laws on the side of falsehood, as against the truth, those who hold a right faith are approved, and, if they persevere, are crowned; but when the emperors enact good laws on behalf of the truth against falsehood, then those who rage against them are put in fear, and those who understand are reformed. Whosoever, therefore, refuses to obey the laws of the emperors which are enacted against the truth of God, wins for himself a great reward; but whosoever refuses to obey the laws of the emperors which are enacted in behalf of truth, wins for himself great condemnation."

Henry David Thoreau, the transcendentalist writer, philosopher, and historian, deals with this ethical issue in his famous paper, "Civil Disobedience". He states:

"If the injustice is part of the necessary friction of the machine of government, let it go, let it go; perchance it will wear smooth -- certainly the machine will wear out. If injustice has a spring, or a pulley, or a rope, or a crank, exclusively for itself, then perhaps you may consider whether the remedy will not be worse than the evil; but if it is of such a nature that it requires you to be the agent of injustice to another, then, I say, break the law. Let your life be a counter friction to stop the machine. What I have to do is to see, at any rate, that I do not lend myself to the wrong which I condemn."

The Old Testament holds a number of examples for believers concerning civil disobedience. Two that come to mind immediately are Daniel and David. At the threat of death by King Darius' injunction, Daniel continued to kneel toward Jerusalem three times a day from his balcony. Daniel followed God in direct disobedience to the government and its king. David, too, directly disobeyed the government as Saul unjustly sought his life.

David not only seeks rescue from King Saul in the Old Testament, he comes to God seeking rescue from other nations in Psalm 35:24. Augustine translates and comments on this verse:

"'Judge me, O Lord, and distinguish my cause from an ungodly nation.' He does not say, 'Distinguish my punishment', but 'Distinguish my cause'. For the punishment of the impious may be the same; but the cause of the martyrs is always different."

While the pericopes of the Old Testament shed light on the subject, the teachings of the New Testament bring the truth further into focus. Paul and Peter both teach on the subject of submission to governmental authority. Both command submission to governing authorities. Both advocate the one stipulation that the government must punish evil and praise good.

Romans 13:1-3 teaches: "Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities for there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God. Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same."

I Peter 2:13-14, 20 teaches: "Submit yourself for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to the king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right... For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it and patiently endure it, this finds favor with God."

The latter passage, in conjunction with Augustine's teaching, suggests that the one who does good despite the government will be punished. The man who finds favor with God does what is right, while receiving government opposition, AND patiently endures his punishment. Earthly laws still carry earthly consequences. But suffering for the sake of Christ has its own set of consequences. Therefore, while you are rightfully persecuted by the government, you are winning praise from God.

Paul's timely letter to the Roman church came from jail. In like fashion, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. also wrote a famous letter from jail. In defense of actions in Birmingham, Alabama leading to his arrest, he pens the well known "Letter from Birmingham City Jail" to his fellow clergymen. The following are a few of his thoughts on civil disobedience and the Christian's role therein:

"I am in Birmingham because injustice is here. Just as the prophets of the eighth century B.C. left their villages and carried their 'thus saith the Lord' far beyond the boundaries of their home towns, and just as the apostle Paul left his village of Tarsus and carried the gospel of Jesus Christ to the far corners of the Greco Roman world, so I am compelled to carry the gospel of freedom beyond my own home town."

"Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere."

"You express a great deal of anxiety over our willingness to break laws... there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. I would agree with St. Augustine that 'an unjust law is no law at all.'"

To sum all of this up, Jesus said it very clearly:

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations"

Failed Internship? Or, an Opportunity for Growth: Part 8 - New Beginnings

From the beginning of time, humans of all cultures have recognized certain numbers as having greater significance than others. Some cultures have understood these differences in terms of power. Some see numerical differences in terms of luck. And some cultures view these differences as symbolic, yet potentially prophetic.

Think about our culture. What comes to mind when you see the number 13? Unlucky, right? Due to the superstitions surrounding this number, many buildings do not have a 13th floor and Friday the 13th is a well known anti-holiday. Another number that catches people's attention is 666. This is known to be a Biblical number pointing to anti-christ. Occurrences of this number have, at times, provoked some to fear an impending cataclysmic end to the world. Some cultures do not know or understand the background and circumstances surrounding their symbolic numbers. Joe Plumber can not tell you where or when 13 became an unlucky number. Even 666 may be inaccurate. Due to a possible manuscript error, the number 666 may have replaced the original 616.

In ancient Hebrew and early Christian history numbers played a major role both prophetically and symbolically, and more importantly these cultures understood the significance and background of each number. One of the most well known numbers is 12. There were 12 tribes of Israel. There were 12 disciples. There will be 12 gates by which to enter the New Jerusalem. This number signifies rule and governmental authority. Another important number is 3. This is a number of substance and completion. This is the number of the trinity, the number of festivals in the Hebrew calendar, and the number of divisions of the Old Testament. Other numbers familiar to the Christian faith are 7, 40, and 666 (or 616). But there is one other major number found in the Bible: 8.

This is the 8th and final post concerning my internship with Wormwood Church in Kansas. The number 8 is a very important number in the Bible. This is the number of new beginnings. The flood is a prime example of this idea of new beginning. Early in man's history, God's wrath and judgment was poured out on all mankind in a devastating, worldwide flood. Noah survived the waters with his wife, his three sons, and their wives. There were left 8 total survivors to begin a new era of human history; a new beginning to mankind.

Prior to the flood, in Genesis 1, God created the heavens and the earth in 6 days, rested on the 7th, and the 8th day was a day of new beginning. Day 8 marked the end of the creation cycle and the beginning of man's reign on the earth. Logically, the eighth day of the week stands in correlation with the first day of the week. When day 8 of the week arrives, the new week begins. Christ was crucified on day 6 of the week marking the end of his work, enjoyed heaven with the Father on day 7, and rose from the dead on day 8. The resurrection of our Lord and Savior marks the most important new beginning for Christians.

From post number 8, I move on to a new beginning in my life.

A major period of my life has come to an end. On this day, I celebrate a new year in my life, my 23rd. As I look back, I have spent 22 years learning, growing, and training. After 12 years of school, 4 years of Bible college, a year at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, and my first official church internship, I am now ready, at the age of 23, to begin the work for which I was made. I begin a new life focused on Arab culture, life, and relationships. I begin studying Arabic and interacting with a whole new world of lost people. This is not to say that I have no plans to finish my masters and work toward a doctorate, but these degrees will be more focused than any schooling that I have done thus far. Jesus and missiology will be the goal of all my education from this point forward.

This is my new beginning.

As the 8th day marks the new week, the 23rd year marks the new epoch of my life.

Failed Internship? Or, an Opportunity for Growth: Part 7 - Forgiveness

"But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions." - Matt 6:15

"And his lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him. My heavenly Father will also do the same, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." - Matt 18:34-35

"Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions." - Mark 11:25-26

"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying 'I repent,' forgive him." - Luke 17:3-4

This is Jesus on the topic of forgiving others. Forgiveness is necessary in the Christian life. We, as sinners, have been forgiven a great debt. In view of this great and wonderful eternal forgiveness, we must learn to forgive comparatively minor and insignificant debts though they may seem catastrophic to our earthly lives.

Right now, forgiveness for me looks like this:
Learning how to pray for Wormwood Church and its leadership in a godly manner.

This does not mean putting aside our differences, but praying that God guides this staff into truth. This does not mean asking God for the massive numbers of people they want, but praying for the spiritual growth of those who are there. This does not mean seeking the church's downfall, but that it would move in the right direction. This means praying that the staff would repent of sin, stubbornness, wrong thinking, and unsound doctrine and ground themselves fully on Scripture.

Forgiveness is not spewing gossip and angry talk to everyone I know. But, forgiveness may include a righteous indignation like that of David towards Saul. If you recall, David pleaded to God to deal with Saul. Yet, at the same time, David left vengeance and wrath for God. In a dark, seemingly empty cave, he stealthily used his knife to cut off a piece of Saul's garment rather than slitting his neck.

God will judge. God will carry out wrath. God will change or not change hearts. I accept that. Therefore, I will pray and speak accordingly. And when I do not, I myself must repent and have repented.

Failed Internship? Or, an Opportunity for Growth: Part 6 - Painful Ministry

The door swung open to reveal a deep, black void waiting just beyond the threshold of dim light cast by the outdoor floodlights. With thoughts and emotions swirling all around my head, I stumbled in closing the door behind me. Dragging my feet along the tile floor, I did not care to turn on the light as my full weight was left to crash to the hard surface. Darkness. Surrounding me. Filling me. the darkness seemed a volatile attack on my entire being. I was, seemingly, alone. Alone with my thoughts.

But, of course, I knew better.

As tears streamed down my face, the pain covered over my proverbial heart. I cried out to God in words I can not now recall. The scene was cast so vividly in my mind. I had gone with the sole intention of hearing him out. Discipline was a non-issue; leveraging my position would be useless at this point. I desperately wanted to counsel him and allow Scripture to speak to the circumstance, but he would hear none of it. "Daryl, don't waste your time praying for me. I don't care about you or God."

A former small group leader on the dorm and current worship leader at a local church, he had opened up to me the depths of his double life. Drunkenness. Drugs. Girls. Sin was choking out his desire for Christ. He had bought into the lie that causes so many to devote life to selfish gratification. Confusion and pain invaded me as his hardness of heart strengthened before my very eyes.

Back in my quad, I confessed utter insufficiency to God. This pain was unbearable. If God could take it away. If He could remove me from this responsibility. If He could just... answer me.

Over the past months, I had begun to understand the nature of the task assigned to my life. To shepherd a group of men is to accept the cross-hairs aimed at one's chest. At times, I had embraced my role with joy. But, more often than not, I wanted nothing more than to yield the responsibility to someone else. The pain often seemed to outweigh the joys.

Pain will always be present when a man strives to understand the hearts of other men.
Pain will always be present when a man strives to speak truth with love into every situation.
Pain will always be present when Scripture remains the inerrant, inexorable truth by which a man founds his life and work.

For a year, as a junior at Liberty University, I struggled through the difficult challenge of attempting to shepherd a group of 40 sophomores and juniors who, for the most part, just did not want anything to do with me. This represented my most difficult year of college. But it prepared me for the reality in ministry that most people will hate me and the message that I bring. My responsibility is to love men and speak truth, no matter what.

Three years later, I find myself in Kansas continuing the work of planting small groups, discipling young believers, and training new small group leaders. Little did I know to what extent those hard fought lessons of the past would come back to test me again. I find that God allows His children to go through harder and harder experiences as they develop in spiritual maturity. By His grace, each painful situation prepares us for the next.

Though I Corinthians 10:13 directly applies to temptation, I believe the principle can easily be translated to the painful ordeals of life and godliness. "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it."

As an intern at Wormwood Church, my work for the Lord was not attacked by those to whom I was ministering. The Lord had taken me through that battle. I had already been equipped to meet the opposition of those under me. Though, not an easy task, it is now one for which I am always ready. This summer, it was the leadership over me that fired the arrows. It is one thing to discern and correct error in a young believer or an unbeliever, but a wholly other issue to confront sin and unsound teaching with those who are supposed to be the spiritual leaders of the church.

John deals with this in I John 4:1, "Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." Francis Schaffer taught men to test and question everything. Not everyone in a position of leadership can be followed. Not every pastor can be trusted. Hebrews deals with all Christians as brothers, not separating leaders from followers, when it says "let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds." When it comes to testing the spirits, there are no lines or heirarchies to stand between pastors and laymen. All men are equal in the sight of God and must be accountable for their actions and teaching.

The past four years since I stepped up to be a discipler have been difficult. I have been tested over and over. Some tests were brief confirmations. Others were long and drawn out; these agonizing ordeals have forced me to expand my spiritual pain tolerance. Paul learned endurance through many such trials. He tells the church of Corinth, "For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life."

I have not despaired of life. Yet. That day, that trial is coming. But my comforts continue to build. The diversity of comforts the Lord has given me is vast. And there is only room for more. These comforts are not for my sake. Therefore, the painful trials I endure are not wholly for my sake.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ."
- II Corinthians 1:3-5