Hope Floats

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

Coming through the tempest, I now find myself lying on the shore, exhausted and weak. For the longest time, I swam against the current, trying to reach a goal from which a greater force was intent on keeping me for one reason or another. In the midst of those interminable moments returning to shore, swimming through the rough, suffocating waters, I feared that my vain striving to reach some distant buoy would prove fatal, not in an extravagant or eloquent death that people would remember and retell again and again as a story of bravery and courage to the last breath, but simply sinking into nonexistence, swallowed up by the deep waters and forgotten.

I nearly lost heart that day at a beach in Torremolinos, just as I nearly lost heart that summer in the mountains of Africa. Doubt followed closely on the heels of loss of faith and death began to creep into my heart and spread through my limbs as I struggled in the direction of shore. Empty and sinking, I cried out in anguish for mercy and hope was reborn. The only hope that is capable of restoring my spirit, reinvigorating my passion, and re-centering my heart after it had once more strayed.

On that shore I lie, drained of all of me. Lying at the edge of the sea where I had given my last vain effort. Lying safe from the driving waves in which I was sinking into the deep waters of oblivion to the notice of no one. Spread out on the sand, my chest heaves as the waves continue to crash and surge over my weary body. Hope is rekindled as dependence is set right in my life, no longer the hand-puppet to suffocate me at the whim of selfish desires holding it captive; its icy fingers now slowly release from around my neck. For a time, dependence had become confused in me, given to that which was undeserving. My hope is not reliance on the girl I met two months ago in Sevilla though in the end it was her silence that served to painfully return me to dependence on the only One who will never fail me. My hope is not contingent upon advantageous circumstances, warm feelings, or the returned affection of a woman, nor should it be shaken -- if held firm by meditation on what has already been proven true in the world and in my own life -- by a lack of any one or all of these elements. My hope was and now remains He who rescued me after I had worked so hard to swim my own way only to find myself drowning in an unforgiving ocean. Even when I no longer held on to hope, He held on to me.

Now just ten days removed from my near death experience, with fresh perspective and a focus rebuilt on the foundation of the Creator of heaven and earth, He has enacted the process by which it seems He will give me one of His most precious gifts. And if there is one thing I have learned this summer, it is to not elevate gift above Giver. As I have sought the Lord these past few days, He has met me with wisdom, timely counsel, and ever-clearer direction. This morning I awoke and found myself soaking up a sermon preached by Jesus long ago. He proclaimed, "Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness." Seek the Giver, for then "all these things will be added to you."

From Paul's Journal: The Adventure Instinct

I'm home now; finally returned to my city. I've never been one for what they call home; home was something from which one must escape, a captivity into which freedom called. Stained and dreary, those four walls pressed in on me for years. I have not settled since, always chasing freedom but finding new walls. It may very well be that a woman's touch is needed to transform a dungeon into a home.

Though, on the other hand, it may simply be a matter of the heart, but matters of the heart are never simple. Perhaps, I'm growing weary of running. And what is a runner who has no destination? To always run and have no finish line quickly compounds the fatigue. Maybe this is the cause of that sudden, unexpected loss of the wild, escapist spirit that many men don't realize has left until mid-life. They lose the adventurer inside, that wanderer running from old, cell walls, that killer instinct. The instinct that the youthful fighter feeds off, but when suddenly it leaves, if not replaced by anything substantive leaves him dead in the water, old and washed up, fully at the mercy of his opponent.

So this growing desire for home, or a home -- because home itself does not necessarily have to be something I have already known or seen or heard, but perhaps a new invention, or a remixed solution fortified with better ingredients -- though it seems to come at the cost of the killer instinct falling away, does not have to be something bad. A tree which has suddenly lost its leaves will rest and return after a season fully rejuvenated.

To live and learn this idea of home does not of necessity have to mean the death of something -- adventure, joy, or fullness of life -- but a transformation, a step into the unknown. How else does a duckling discover its natural swimming ability unless it pokes through the shell and stumbles past the broken pieces?

Naturally, at this stage of my life, one of the biggest upcoming steps to discovering and integrating home will be starting a family. But this itself is another big adventure, so where do men go wrong, what is the cause of the crisis many men experience at mid-life?

It seems to me that the root can be found in the attitude toward the two stages of life. There is an instinct in many men my age to wander, explore, adventure, and experience; let's call this the adventure instinct. Could it be, as I have said, that this adventure instinct gets fatigued and must, for a time, go into hibernation or briefly lie dormant in order to refresh? That many families often begin while this instinct is dormant, leading to later discontent when the man feels that home has again lost its freedom and reverted to the old, dirty cell walls.

So what is the solution? What is the remedy and road to a healthy family? I would suggest that the answer is in the object of that adventure instinct. The wandering season I am in now is feeding this instinct, as well as, I am sure, early married life will also be a source of new adventure. But it seems like the adventure instinct is seeking, even dependent on, something to fulfill it. It is possible that I could let the instinct run away with me and chase fulfillment in traveling, hiking, rock climbing, and all the other excitement that awaits me on this side of the world. In the next stage, I could seek fulfillment in my wife, my kids, and this whole home idea. If these are the objects of my adventure instinct and its fulfillment, they will all fail me.

The object, the goal, must be a greater adventure, a more luscious pleasure, and a bigger joy than any object I have so far named. My hope must be the One who secured it. My joy, He who is not only the essence of beauty, but her source. My adventure, He who created the wildest habitations and the fiercest instincts.

If I am to step into this new stage of life, I must rest on the Foundation which will hold all the stages together. If I am to love my wife as she deserves to be loved and raise my children to know the greatest Adventure, then they cannot be the first focus. In fact, they will only come into right focus when I use the proper lens to view them. To be a consistent man, a passionate husband, and an adventurous dad, I must be setting the right lens now in advance.

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth." (Col 3:2) If Paul sees it as necessary to inform us to do this, it's likely that it will not just come naturally. Whatever season my adventure instinct is in, I must be alert and continually forming this instinct by setting my mind on the things above.

From Paul's Journal: Sex and Heaven

My most recent exploration into heaven began several weeks ago when I stumbled over Isaiah 25. I'll come back to this momentarily, but first some thoughts from Mark Driscoll and C.S. Lewis.

In Mere Christianity, Lewis compares the next stage of man with the contemporary view of evolution. The turn from "huge, very heavily armoured creatures" to "little, naked, unarmoured animals which had better brains" is, by and large, inconceivable and leaves man with very little to go by in predicting the next stage.

The new man will be like nothing we've yet seen and Lewis makes the point that he is not the result of a sexual act. The new man is advanced and comes about through a spiritual birth. In the next stage, sex is voided, no longer necessary or even in existence. In a sermon I recently heard, Driscoll quotes Steve Arturburn as saying the sexual act is the most powerful, pleasurable act in man's earthly experience.

As a single man who still remains a virgin, I have no real category in which to place this information. I have never experienced the supposed thrill, ecstasy, and intimacy of what I am told is one of God's greatest gifts to man. You could say that my "Man" experience is still lacking, incomplete, as a puzzle missing a large piece just off-center or a machine not yet running at full efficiency because a certain cog has not yet been replaced with its proper upgrade.

So I ask, if for some reason I am not married and have not experienced sex before this life ends, will my joy be incomplete? It seems that if the words of Jesus are correct -- "they will not be married or given in marriage [in heaven]" -- there is no sex in heaven. But the greater question is, can my joy be incomplete in heaven? Is not every good and pleasurable thing on earth given, or come down rather, from the "Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow?"

The gift is not to be gloried in, but the Giver. Sex is not to be gloried in, but He who has given it. Will heaven not be the true form, and God the actual light that our individual idols cause to be seen as shadow on the earth, in which all joy and pleasure and more are culminated and even increased exponentially? In heaven, all good and pleasing gifts are true, real, tangible. It's amazing how empty men can feel at the height of conquest, success, and victory. How, when I grab onto what I'm looking for on this earth, it never seems to be what my soul is really in need of. That somehow in heaven the momentary, scattered wafts of true joy and pleasure that often tempt me to God are full and ongoing and not lacking for eternity.

Heaven is to truly come home as we always dreamed it would look, to smiles and hugs and never-ending love deep as the sea. Heaven is to walk the fields along the creek side soaking in every bit of the sun's warmth to never again have a care or a worry or a fear of something needing to be done or fixed or made ready. Heaven is to know my neighbor with the greatest of love and intimacy surpassing and superseding what man knew as sex on the earth in ages past, now nearly a forgotten memory.

Isaiah informs of us these things:

"The LORD of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples on this mountain; A banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, And refined, aged wine.
And on this mountain He will swallow up the covering which is over all peoples, Even the veil which is stretched over all nations.
He will swallow up death for all time, And the Lord GOD will wipe tears away from all faces,
And He will remove the reproach of His people from all the earth;
For the LORD has spoken."

Isaiah 25:6-8

God Comes To Us

"O Children of Israel! Call to mind the special favor which I bestowed upon you, and fulfill your covenant with Me as I fulfill My Covenant with you, and fear none but Me. And believe in what I reveal... And cover not Truth with falsehood... And be steadfast in prayer; practice regular charity; and bow down your heads with those who bow down (in worship)." - Al'Baqarah 2:40-43

Just what is the fundamental difference between Islam and Christianity?

For some time now, I have been studying the Bible and the Qur'an with my friend Muhammad. As I have gone deeper into the Qur'an, the lines that divide us are becoming more clear in my mind. The above reference from the second surah represents what I think is the biggest difference.

Mohammad goes all the way back to where it all started with God and Israel, the Abrahamic Covenant. The Covenant is established here for the first time in the Qur'an and is immediately followed by what I call the "imperatives of worship". It is a call to Israel to remember the God who covenanted with them and an establishment of the foundation on which the covenant stands. What does Mohammad understand here as Israel's part of the covenant?

Several "imperatives of worship":

1. Believe in what I reveal. (2:40)
2. Cover not Truth with Falsehood. (2:41)
3. Be steadfast in prayer. (2:43)
4. Practice regular charity. (2:43)
5. Bow down your heads (in worship). (2:43)

Israel is to fulfill it's part in order that God may fulfill his side of the bargain. This understanding of God's covenant with men leads to what are known as the 5 pillars of Islam (pray 5 times each day, give alms, go on hajj, observe Ramadan, and say the Shahadda). In Islam, man must go to God. He must work and earn favor with God in order to be acceptable. God waits for man to come to Him.

This is exactly the opposite of the message we find in Genesis to which Mohammad seems to refer. Remember, Mohammad never read the Old Testament in His own language. He came a millennium after the completion of these books and almost two millenia after the writing of the Torah. Furthermore, he came from an entirely different culture hundreds of miles away. His opinion of the events of Genesis are slightly suspect.

But what do we find within the pages of Genesis? God comes to man. On the very day God establishes His covenant with Abraham, in blood, we find the sole condition placed on man for his part of the covenant. God is clear about what he is offering: a great nation, One who will rise up out of that nation, resulting in a blessing for all the world, which would serve as a great inheritance. But what does Abraham offer? Is he commanded to pray fervently, offer charity, or bow his head a certain way?

"Then he believed in the LORD; and He reckoned it to him as righteousness." - Genesis 15:6

God came to Abraham. Abraham simply believed and God looked upon him as righteous. The very foundation of the Abrahamic Covenant is grace. Paul writes in chapter four of his letter to the Romans, "Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor, but as what is due. But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness."

Mohammad misunderstands the connection between the Abrahamic Covenant and the Mosaic Covenant. Unfortunately, the Qur'an's version of the "Ten Commandments" is the foundation on which the covenant is built. This error is obvious in Al-Baqarah as Mohammad intertwines the two covenants and bases the first on the second. In the Torah we know that the "Ten Commandments" were given only after the first covenant was ratified with saving faith. God gave more specific commands to his people several hundred years later because they proved incapable of simply walking in the grace of trusting God. Their hard hearts required specific directives to point out their sinful ways and lead them to a knowledge of the grace given to Abraham.

Clearly, hard hearts continue to prevail today, especially in the Law-burdened Islamic nations. So what does this mean for our Muslim neighbors? Stop working! God says in the Zabor (Psalms): "Cease striving and know that I am God." The foundation of the covenant which God made between Himself and Israel is a trust and a belief in the God who revealed Himself to Abraham, Moses, David, and Isaiah. They trusted God as He gradually revealed Himself. To Abraham, God was the One who would bless the whole world through one of Abraham's descendants (Gen 22:18). To Moses, God was the One who showed grace on His people by teaching them what righteousness looked like (Exodus 22). To David, God was the One who did not count sins against His people because they would later be paid for in blood (Psalm 32). To Isaiah, God was the One who was sending His Suffering Servant to bear the sin of the world (Isaiah 53).

One day, as Jesus was teaching in Jerusalem, a crowd of scribes and Pharisees gathered -- their main goal to find a way to have Him killed -- providing Him an opportunity to rebuke their hard, religious hearts. He was disappointed that the Jews had not followed Abraham's example of faith. John chapter eight records their conversation:

"Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad."
So the Jews said to Him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?"
Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, before Abraham was born, I am."
Therefore they picked up stones to throw at Him, but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple.

Many Muslims are ready to throw their stones at Jesus and His followers. I want to challenge you to consider the claims of this man you call a Rasul (Teacher). Read the Injil (New Testament), read the words of this Rasul you call Jesus. What He truly said in history, recounted to us by many witnesses will shock you. Read, and find out for yourself that God came to us.

Justice And The Fight For Freedom

The world watches anxiously as Arabs from Morocco to Bahrain together pursue one goal: freedom. They have mobilized to strike fear into the heart of tyranny. An entire generation fighting to expose and dismantle regimes built on oppression, corruption, and tyranny, these brothers and sisters envision a better future and a better life. They cry out for freedom, but the battle is really one for justice.

Today's youth have awoken to the reality that if they do not fight against injustice, no one will do it for them. They believe that corrupt governments and power hungry politicians are not the cornerstones of progress. Rather, hope rests on democracy and human rights to create a better world. Justice will be served. The wicked will be cast down.

Yes, this is an age of awakening. We will no longer lend ourselves to the injustice of kings and dictators, crooked politicians and bribe-seeking police. Yet to this day, mosques everywhere are filled with worshipers who bow to the antithesis of what it is they seek. They are a people who refuse to be ruled by unjust men, yet submit to an unjust God.

Time and again, my neighbors and friends instruct me that God will grant mercy to the faithful. I am told that for those who confess "There is no God but Allah, and Mohammad is His prophet" and outweigh bad deeds with good all will be forgiven. God will simply erase all the mistakes and errors triumphantly ushering the believer into paradise. In Islam, pardon is fully within the realm of God's justice, and He will pardon every good Muslim. Supposedly, bad deeds are forgotten never to be remembered.

But what of the victims, do they remember? Do they not deserve justice?

Consider a fictional courtroom in my local village. As you and I sit behind the defendant, he rises and moves to plead his case. Accused of murder, he stands before the judge and begins his defense,

"Your honor, I have committed murder as you are well aware. But you must understand that this is but an isolated incident. I have murdered, but I am no murderer. Consider the weight of my good deeds, I pray five times a day, give alms, and uphold Ramadan. Please ask my neighbors and they will tell you that I have been on hajj twice. Allah Al'Aqbar! Does not this life of service before Allah more than cover the few mistakes I have made? I beg your mercy as you consider my past service in rendering judgment."

With the drop of a gavel, the judge acquits this man of all charges. He is free to go. For a moment the courtroom is stunned; the citizens stare at the judge in shock. And shock gives rise to anger. "Order in the court!" cries the judge at the public outcry. Amidst the uproar, a young girl sits quietly trembling in the back row. Tears begin to flow down her cheeks; a flood of memories gushes through her mind. As her makeup begins to smear, her puffy eyes lock with those of the defendant as he retraces his steps down the aisle. With a grin, her father's murderer exits the courtroom.

Not one of us would tolerate such blatant injustice from a human judge. This revolution was started to cast down such injustice. And yet, Islam's claims make God out to be no better than our oppressors. To this point, my Muslim friends will object, "But God is not bound by our justice. His justice is different than earthly justice."

You are right when you say that God is not bound by temporal, finite creation. But I ask, did not the God who created you and I and the world in which we live also create the order that turns it and the justice that governs it? If God deems that the justice passed down to the prophets Moses, Jesus, and Mohammad is holy, is he not unholy when his justice proves contrary? Buried inside every human heart is a God-given conception of justice that flows from God's very nature. We can know and fight for justice because it is essential to the God who has sanctioned and sanctified it.

All injustice comes at a cost. A price to be paid. The murderer must relinquish his freedom, the thief must make reparations, and the sinner must be called to account for his active rebellion against a holy God. Within the confines of Islam's double-standard-justice, men will continue to uphold justice only when it is convenient and beneficial for them. Only a people that understands God's deep love for justice will actively pursue that justice in all facets of life.

Until the Arab world takes a firm stand on universal justice, the change they so desperately desire will elude them. An unjust God is as worthy of my worship as Mubarak is deserving of my tax money. Under an unjust God, the fight for justice will fail. Nothing will change but the names of those who filch and oppress the poor.

So what is the answer? How does God prove Himself just and still justify sinners? According to Paul's letter to the Romans in the Injil, chapter 3, the publicly shed blood of Jesus stands as payment for the sin and injustice committed by all who place their trust in this Messiah. Islam is half right, God will indeed pardon sin for the faithful. But He does not do this without payment.

God came to earth wrapped in man's skin, called Himself Jesus, and made the reparations on our behalf. Justice was fulfilled at the cross. The sinner's pardon is the blood of our spotless lamb.

Freedom or Facade?

Arabs everywhere are crying out to demand freedom. Egyptians, Libyans, and Saudi Arabians are standing up to corrupt and violent governments and clamoring for change. They raise their fists for freedom, equality, and hope.

On January 30th, Egyptians protested in a "Day of Rage." Officially, Bahrain followed on February 14th, Libya on February 17th, Morocco on February 20th, Tunisia on February 25th, and Saudi Arabia on March 11th. Unofficially, many have fallen in between, more frequent in some countries than others. In Morocco, for instance, every Sunday has seen peaceful protests in all the major cities since February 20th.

The protesters collectively want freedom. But on an individual level, people are demanding work, better pay, and more opportunities for the college-educated. They want to put a stop to corruption. They want new leaders. They want a better life.

But today's freedom movement has a serious internal flaw. The focus is on me. What can I get? How can I better my position? America's freedom was built on a Judeo-Christian ethic, an entire nation joining together to create a better world for everyone. Where self-interest comes first, freedom devolves into tyranny. The fight for personal gain is not the fight of freedom. This man's freedom is another man's chains.

The conception of freedom that requires the destruction of the bourgeoisie by the proletariat is a never-ending cycle of violence. Freedom always has in view the minority. And this is the fork in the road where freedom and Arab culture part ways because even the minority does not have in mind the minority. What an Arab minority has in mind is ascension to power on the backs of other minorities. For many, freedom is an empty word, a stepping stone to securing power.

I fear that many of today's freedom fighters have a short-sighted view of freedom. If freedom is what you want for your nation, there is no place for your motivations of money, power, and position. Freedom requires sacrifice. Freedom defends the weak, helps the helpless, and extends its hand to enemies. My Arab friends, you must set aside your hatred, your biases, and your differences. It may sound counter-intuitive, but by helping the helpless, you help yourself.

Will you fight for your own rights, but deny them to your countrymen? At the end of the day, will the poor and uneducated still be marginalized? When you have seen your revolution through, will you acknowledge the rights of your Christian brothers and sisters, those who have been threatened, tortured, and killed in the name of Islam? Will you defend the oppressed, abused, and downtrodden?

I want you to know that you have many Christian countrymen. In fact, they are scattered all across North Africa and the Middle East. They work hard, commend truth, seek justice, and ask God to give wisdom to those in authority over them. They are the minority that is most in danger of being left behind in this revolution.

Will we all get the better life you seek, or is this just a facade?

The Shot Heard Around The World

A young 20th century would stumble into the world desperately seeking identity. The expectations were high; previous generations had been responsible for reformations, industrial revolution, and the Enlightenment. Progress was lifted high as the banner that historians would use to define the age, a powerful diversion to steal the world's attention away from the atrocities of imperialism, ongoing wars, and the rising discontentment of nationalism.

Mankind looked down from his high tower reveling in the glory of his great masterpiece all the while oblivious to the corrosion of its foundations. Then, one warm summer morning in Sarajevo, a shot was fired that was heard around the world. Before the projectile reached its mark, the world was at war. Piercing the jugular vein of Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the bullet released a flow of long overlooked anger and virulence into a shattered world loosely held together by the tenuous geographic lines laid out by the imperial powers that be.

Fired from the gun of a young Serbian, this shot would signal the mobilization of the world's armies. Declarations of war would be heard as far as the shot's ringing echoes could reach. With one swift action, the world was at war. An unstoppable chain of events brought modernity crashing back down the very mountain of progress it had intrepidly stood upon.

A fledgling 21st century would find itself in that same struggle to discover its identity. One more generation fed up with its oppressors, the Arab world unwittingly awaited a catalyst as it stood by watching kings and dictators -- risen from among their own people -- multiply the iniquities of previous centuries' colonists. Once more the answer would be heard loud and clear by the world that had turned a blind eye to their suffering. With the strike of a match, a young Tunisian man would ignite the Arab world sending far and wide the flames of violence and rage long suppressed.

College-educated but out of work, his only hope to support a hungry family -- the produce cart that he pushed around the streets of his city -- was confiscated by corrupt policemen whose own families were well provided for. The next day he set himself and the Arab world on fire. The empty gas can lying by the side of the road, his smoldering body would spread the flames like a wildfire to the far reaches of North Africa and the Middle East. As the flames spread, every major Arab leader would feel the heat of Mohamed Bouazizi's fire.