What I Want (Or, The Abundant Life)

Scrambling through a thick cloud of darkness, I emerge from the woods into chaos. The deafening boom of canon blasts assails me from all sides, near and far. Bright flashes pull back the shadows as I frantically search for some familiarity. Gunfire and cries of pain drown my attempts to reason as I quickly lose control. Making my way across the field, an unknown destination awaits me. The going is slow as I stumble over endless bodies, some bearing the red uniform, some the blue. My memory alludes me; I know nothing but the throbbing pain that seems to pervade my whole body. A steady flow of either blood or perspiration, maybe both, flows from my head.

A blast knocks me over as dirt rains down on my head. Regaining my balance, I continue toward what seems to be the front line. Soldiers run in all directions, discharging their weapons as they go. The pain in my head escalates. Searching my clothing for a makeshift wrap, a wave of panic sweeps over me at the realization that I wear no uniform, but street clothes. I search my mind for an answer to the now all-important question. A man brushes by me, fleeing in retreat. He stops briefly to turn around and wave for me to follow. Darting off, his tattered red tunic vanishes into the night. Another soldier, this one in blue, violently grabs my coat and drags me in the opposite direction. Before escaping into the night, he orders me to pick up my gun and fight.

The world begins to spin as the violence overwhelms me. Men surround me. They fearfully shove past, running here and there. Gunfire rings in my ears as my vision blurs. The darkness pervades, this fueling the fear now growing inside me. An expectation of doom takes hold as I fight through the clamor and confusion to understand to which side I belong. The battle endlessly rages with no resolution in sight.

I want the pleasures this world has to offer. I want people to know me, to remember me, to love me. I want to be the focus of attention. I want the perfect girl and I want her now. I want to make my name great. This is the side for which I fight.

I want to see God's kingdom come. I want to see His will done on earth as it is in heaven. I want to be a light that pushes out the darkness of this world. I want to offer up my life as a living sacrifice. I want to hallow His name. This is the side for which I fight.

A battle rages inside me.

Day by day, my fight loses ambiguity. The sides become more clear. My role, less obscure. For weeks I fight the good fight and begin to taste the spoils of war. But then on the heels of victory, I arbitrarily rejoin the enemy reasoning that the end justifies the means. At times, my vision blurs so much that it becomes difficult to know what end I really want for myself. I know that it is impossible for the enemy to show me the same goodness. The enemy offers everything that I think I want, but I know this is a set up, a trap. An ambush awaits me, but I ignore the warning signs. Not until defeat is at hand are my eyes opened to understand the nature of this deception.

The apostle Paul fought this fight.

"For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want." He continues, "Wretched man that I am!" Paul knew this inner struggle well. He knew that battle lines could often be blurred by one's own desires. He knew the difficulty in determining which side was real, which side was right, which side was true. The fight is not easy. This life is difficult. But the sanctified life is the one that presses through the smoke with bayonet outstretched. Though he may fall, there is strength to get back up. Though he may not see through the haze, there is guidance to show the way. Though he may suffer, there is hope for the future.

No man is exempted from life's battles. All have been enlisted in some military force. While courage, valor, and victory are not limited to a particular side, final victory is only for the few. There is one leader who overwhelmingly conquers all. All men must consider for whom they will fight. The world fights for itself. The Christian fights not for himself, but for a King and a kingdom. By Jesus, we find direction to tread the narrow path; He is the way. By Jesus, we persevere toward the truth; He is the truth. By Jesus, we have victory over sin and death; He is the life.

Paul knew he was wretched. But he follows this statement with thanksgiving! He asks, "Who will set me free from the body of this death? THANKS BE TO GOD through Jesus Christ our Lord!... There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." There is no condemnation. By Jesus, there is no condemnation. This is our hope. The hope of glory by the saving work of Jesus Christ. One day, everyone's fight will be revealed for what it really is. On that day, everyone will know whether your battle was for Jesus or whether your battle was for self.

"For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace."

We must persevere to set our minds on the Spirit. When the flesh knocks us down, there must be repentance and a turn back to the Spirit. Jesus does not require perfection from His sheep. He requires total commitment. Even the demons believe in God and His Son, Jesus, and shudder. Belief is not enough, but must be joined by true commitment. Peter calls men to "sanctify (set apart) Christ as Lord of [their] hearts."

When Tattoo Artists Cry

To me, guys with tats have always seemed like a rough sort. If I'm walking down the street toward a big ugly, angry man, he has always been that much more intimidating sporting a sleeve down his arm or flames crawling up his neck. But the truth is, they do cry. Maybe these guys are just softies. Or maybe, the gospel is powerful. Maybe the name Jesus Christ really does carry an otherwordly majesty.

For the full story, you can read Daniel's blog, but we can't take a coffee break from the missio dei (mission of God). There is no retirement, no going on vacation, and no exception for tattoo day. "We are ambassadors for Christ as though God were making an appeal through us." Everywhere the believer goes, he bears the name of Jesus. When an American ambassador enters another country, he goes representing America. But not only is he representing America, he represents America. While on the one hand, he is there to speak for America, he is also a representation of who America is. If someone were to watch him for a day this person may understand better what it looks like to be American. Therefore, when the ambassador takes a coffee break or goes home for the night, he is still watched, still observed, still studied.

Christians too often want to speak for God, but are so rarely willing to adequately represent Him. If we are to tell the lost of God's love, mercy, hope, and truth, should we not also live this out when people are watching, observing, and studying us outside of our jobs or ministries?

Daniel, AnneMarie, and I went to get tattoos on Friday. Upon arriving at the tattoo studio, we discovered that Steve, our artist, could not make it in. His five-year-old daughter, Violet, had become sick at school and needed to be cared for. Timidly, almost anticipating trouble, the receptionist, Kelly, asked if it would be ok for us to reschedule. Little did we know, but another tattoo artist, Lacie, was listening and observing our conversation. Daniel and I graciously thanked Kelly for her time and happily rescheduled our appointment for two weeks later. As we were leaving, Lacie noted her surprise to our reaction as this was atypical behavior.

We returned to Raleigh that night to hang out with some friends and watch a dueling piano show. At some point on the way into Raleigh, the Holy Spirit pricked Daniel's heart. In response to this we found ourselves outside the tattoo studio again, the three of us, with a stuffed frog holding a get well card between its magnetic hands with the words "you're special" on them. Walking into the studio ten minutes before closing, we found Steve lamenting to Kelly about how he had missed us earlier in the day. At the sight of our trio and the ensuing explanation concerning how we cared about and had been praying for little Violet, he welled up with tears. This act of love spoke volumes to him.

Steve insisted we stay after closing so he could ink us up. For the next hour and a half Daniel had the opportunity to tell Steve about how his tattoo encouraged him to pray and keep a good attitude and I had the opportunity to talk about how the Greek words for "Jesus is Lord" had impacted my life. The conversation remained on spiritual things all night as we listened, taught, encouraged, and loved on Steve. At the end, we prayed for him, his daughter, and that his relationship with her would model God's for His children. The night ended with a round of bear hugs as emotions flied high on all sides.

Yes, Paul does challenge believers in II Corinthians 5:20 to be "ambassadors for Christ." He does challenge us to urgently beg men, on behalf of Christ, to be reconciled to God. We play a vital role as vessels through whom God speaks words of truth. But this only comes after people see the life transformation that has already occurred in us. Just a few verses before, Paul writes "if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."

What right do we have to speak love, truth, and grace into someone's life if they have not seen the new things born into our lives through Christ's reconciling work?

Live the truth.
Speak the truth.


"kurios Iasous" - Greek for "Jesus is Lord" or, very literally translated "Lord Jesus". This phrase is used in Rom 10:9 to signify the words that come out of one's mouth at regeneration in partnership with a belief that God raised Jesus from the dead. The word order is significant insofar as what may seem to be the misplaced word "Lord" in English is moved to the front to add greater emphasis. Typically in an equalitative statement like this where nouns are nominative (both act as a subject) a proper noun such as Jesus would take priority to go first in the text. Yes, Jesus is Lord. He is Lord of the universe. This is a truth statement. But the emphasis on the word "Lord" brings to light the place He holds now in the new believer's life. I Peter 3:15 says "sanctify (set apart) Christ as Lord of your hearts..."

Time For Revival... But, I Think I'll Kill Aliens First

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of mediocrity. A flood of mediocrity fills my lungs as the fire is slowly choked to death. Day in and day out I live and walk with Christians whom I fear I will become. Is the call of Christ really so easy to put aside for worldly comforts and pleasures? Or, maybe I really am so naive as to think that what I read in the Bible about suffering, counting the cost, and dying to self should be the norm for Christ-followers. All too often I can't help but wonder if youthful zeal and passion will fade as I age. Can I expect to join the ranks of the Christian soldiers around me that seem to be on a permanent leave of absence? At the age of 30, will I spend all my free time napping and shooting aliens on the x-box with my other balding 30-year-old friends?

But on the other hand, why should the fire die?

Paul was an old man when he spoke these words:

"I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself,
so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus,
to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God.
And now, behold, I know that all of you, among whom I went about preaching the kingdom, will no longer see my face.
Therefore, I testify to you this day that
I am innocent of the blood of all men.
For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God."

Paul did not consider his life as dear to himself. Nor did he consider comforts, money, religion, or laziness as worthy of his life investment. Paul gave everything to finish the course and the ministry set before us. Paul was on a mission, the missio dei (mission of God), that was not solely his own, but a mission for all Christ-followers. He lived, suffered, and preached in a manner that made him innocent of the blood of all men he encountered.

I only wish I could say the same, for my hands are stained red by all of the opportunities that I have missed. I have failed time and time gain in my service to the kingdom whether for fear or doubt or, most notably, apathy. Hell is a real place. The truth is that this is the destination for some. My feet are supposed to be beautiful as they carry good news, for "how will they believe in Him whom they have not heard?" Today's church has no urgency. We have an understanding of hell, but, judging by our actions, we don't care. To care would be to do something. To care would be to preach. To care would be to love. To care would be to emulate Christ.

Where is the light? "You are the light of the world."

Where is the love? "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
Where is the sacrifice? "Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."

Where is the power? "All authority has been given to me in heaven and on earth... lo, I am with you always."
Where is the boldness? "As they observed the confidence of Peter and John and understood that they were uneducated and untrained men, they were amazed, and began to recognize them as having been with Jesus."

Where is the revival? This is the question that Christians and churches continually ask, but are unwilling to catalytically spark. There is no time, it is now. "Behold, now is 'the acceptable time,' behold, now is 'the day of salvation' --

When are we going to grow up?

When are we going to step up?

Amazing Grace (Or, God Hates Us!)

Last July, Mark Driscoll said this to a group of pastors: "I preached propitiation and we grew by 800 people in one week... telling people that God hated them!" Have you ever heard a preacher tell you that God hates you? I imagine it would be comparable to an abrupt wake-up call of ice cold water. Surprise, confusion, and anger all coalesce into one knee-jerk reaction: No he doesn't!

Well, the fact of the matter is this: God is love, but God is just as much a judge. And with God as judge, humanity is under the scrutiny of the prosecution. This is not your usual courtroom situation. Those things that put me in court range from lying (perjury) to theft to murder in our society. Now according to our judicial system the punishment will typically fit the crime. The truth of the matter is that this goes all the way back to levitical law and the Jewish judicial system. Ever hear the phrase "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth"? That's Biblical! You may recall Moses judging all of the cases of the Israelites in Exodus 18 and 19. This phrase was the basis for his judgments. If you steal something, you must repay it. If you kill someone, you must repay with your life. Today we do the same thing. Various offenses deserve various degrees of punishment. If you commit murder, you get what is called a "life sentence".

So the question of hell remains. If hell is eternal, why can man receive it as punishment for mere theft or murder? Every sin man commits is a double offense. Not only do I break society's laws, but at the same time I break a greater law. I breat God's law. The funny thing is that all He really requires is love and obedience. My offense? Rebellion. My finite lawbreaking receives finite consequences; the punishment fits the crime. But my infinite lawbreaking receives infinite consequences. With every sinful act, I rebel against the infinite God of the universe. This was Lucifer's crime and the cause for his eternal punishment. Every single man, woman, and child rebels continually against an infinite God. Every one. Therefore, every single man, woman, and child receives due penalty, infinite penalty for this defiance.

This is where God's wrath comes into play, and oh yes, God carries out every iota of His wrath. This rebellion must be dealt with. In the government of a great nation, the sovereign has various counselors and advisors. These men are chosen for their wisdom, strategy, and insight, but above all else, their task is to aid the sovereign in leading his nation in victory and prosperity. Even the slightest rebellion must be dealt with or it begins to spread and soon the sovereign's rule and power falls into decadence. God, as the perfect sovereign of the universe, must and will judge and remove all rebellion from His kingdom. God hates this rebellion. God hates these rebels. God punishes and destroys every last one. This is His wrath.

But by His amazing grace, an infinite sacrifice was made on my behalf in my place in order to take on all of my eternal punishment. One man was punished for all of my rebellion, leaving me scot free. But how can a finite man be substitute for my infinite rebellion? Jesus Christ was fully man, but he was not finite for He was fully God. This is called the hypostatic union and results in the God of the universe coming to earth incarnate and taking on, eternally, the punishment for ALL who call on His name (Rom 10:13). The infinite God of the universe poured out all of His eternal wrath on my infinite rebellion via His infinite Son. Wrath and grace meet at the cross. All of God's wrath and hate for me were taken out on Christ.

But now for the proof? How do we know that this actually worked? Or, maybe we just have to wait, like the Muslims, until Judgment Day to really know if God will accept us? Me Ginoita!!! This is what Paul said twice in Romans 6 when he exclaimed, "May it never be!!" Our proof came three days later when God accepted the sacrifice and raised Christ from the dead. Romans 4:25 says precisely this,

"He who was delivered over because of our transgressions, and was raised because of our justification."

Christ was delivered up as a result of our transgressions. This was the purpose for which He did what He did. Christ's work was to come, minister for three years, live perfectly to show the way, and then die on the cross in place of the world. Because God saw fit that my punishment was dealt accordingly, that my punishment fit the crime, He raised Jesus Christ from death in acceptance of the sacrifice. This was the first sacrifice in history that God fully, eternally accepted. No other sacrifice was risen from the dead because all other sacrifices were temporal and fleeting. All Jewish sacrifices of the levitical system were made with the express intent of holding off God's wrath until the true sacrifice arrived. This final sacrifice covers all of His people past, present, and future.

Stupid Christian Cliches: Part 1

"Just trust God..."

Last February, I had lunch with my good friend, Nick, and it seemed like the whole world was crumbling down on top of him. This particular week he had two major papers due. At the same time, he was going through a painful break of friendship with someone close. On top of that, he still had the usual meetings and responsibilities that came with being a small group leader. Classes continued, his job remained, and time was against him. To top all of this off, a well-meaning Christian told him, "Nick, just trust God..."

Just trust God.

Because He is going to write your papers for you. Because He is going to go talk to your friend to resolve all those differences that have been piling up. Because He is going to be your substitution for classes, work, meetings, and He'll even teach your small group this week. Just trust Him.

My mother is a Let-Go-and-Let-God Christian. She has a sign hanging up in the house with these very words. Footprints is on the wall in the kitchen while a framed "Trust God" is sitting by her bed. Year by year, my mother's disabilities increase. With each passing year her depravity grows and any semblance of a spiritual life decreases towards non-existence. For all of my mother's life she has been waiting to "trust God". This is the mantra she repeats: "just trust God".

Trusting God is not a waiting game. You don't wait all your life trusting God and he just shows up one day at your front door.

So what does it really mean to trust God? Sacrifice.

"Are they servants of Christ?...I more so;

in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death.

Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes.
Three times I was beaten with rods,
once I was stoned,
three times I was shipwrecked,
a night and a day I have spent in the deep.

I have been on frequent journeys,

in dangers from rivers,
dangers from robbers,
dangers from my countrymen,
dangers from the Gentiles,
dangers in the city,
dangers in the wilderness,
dangers on the sea,
dangers among false brethren;

I have been in labor and hardship,

through many sleepless nights,
in hunger and thirst,
often without food,
in cold and exposure.

Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches." (II Corinthians 11:23-28)

Paul sacrificed everything, this was the proof of his trust in God. And guess what, God ALWAYS saw him through.

On the night of Jesus' arrest, He prayed in Gethsemane. He was so distressed about His upcoming death that his sweat poured out like drops of blood. A decision was in front of Him. All of the Old Testament climaxed here in this moment. Promises had been given time and time again by God concerning the coming events of the next 3 days and beyond. Sacrifice on Jesus' part was absolutely necessary for God to pour out the blessings promised from thousands of years passed. Or, Jesus could walk away from it all, preserve Himself, and live out the rest of His life. Because He trusted God and His Word, Jesus made the decision to sacrifice, saying,

"Abba!
Father!
All things are possible for You;
remove this cup from Me;
yet not what I will, but what You will."
(Mark 14:36)

Sacrifice is essential to trusting God.

When I sacrifice my life to God, I am saying, "God I trust You that what you have spoken about my hope, abundant life, and your blessings is true." This is the life that God blesses abundantly, namely, the life poured out to Him.

To sacrifice your time to serve others is to trust that God will transform their heart.
To sacrifice an hour of your day to enjoy relationship with God is to trust God that the other 23 hours He gives will be enough.
To sacrifice your money at church is to trust God to multiply what is left to provide for your needs.
To sacrifice food and drink is to trust God to be the sustaining bread and water of life. (This, by the way, is called fasting)
To sacrifice your comfort is to trust God that what He has given you is enough.
What are you sacrificing on the altar in light of your trust in God?

Sacrifice is our duty. Where we end, God's work begins.
Man is responsible for the natural, God does the supernatural.

One final word on trusting God: this is the means by which we fulfill the Great Commission.

"But thanks be to God,
who always leads us in triumph in Christ,
and manifests through us the sweet aroma
of the knowledge of Him in every place.

For we are a fragrance of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing;

to the one an aroma from death to death,
to the other an aroma from life to life."
(II Corinthians 2:14-16)

The sweet aroma of the believer's sacrifice to God results in the gospel being preached everywhere. The chosen are brought in by the fragrant smell of salvation. The doomed are repulsed by the stench, leaving all without excuse.

Now This Is The Story...

...all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.

I haven't posted for awhile, but if you tend to read this blog, here is a quick update:

Bear in mind, this is all qualified by "Lord willing", so please pray for guidance for me.

I'm two weeks away from completing the Journeyman application. This gets me into the May 10-14 IMB interview conference and then orientation July 27-September 24. I hope to make one last visit to Liberty University in Virginia and Southeastern Seminary in North Carolina before leaving for my 2 years overseas. At the present moment I'm praying for direction concerning three jobs that interest me:
1. Meknes, North Africa as a church planter
2. Leh, India as a wilderness first responder
3. Sa'ana, Middle East as a backpacking tribal researcher

I hope to return to seminary for the spring 2012 semester as a 25-year-old with a ton more experience. And where I'll go from there is too far into the future for me to really make any claims, but I would like to get my masters and a doctorate before returning overseas.

The most important part of my next two years of ministry will be the prayer support of fellow believers. If you'd be interested in praying for me and receiving updates, feel free to email me and I'll add you to my list. James writes that the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective.

Finally, I'll be starting a new blog. It'll probably be a food blog where I catalog dishes that I learn to make overseas. I'll still ponder life and write here and there about theology or philosophy, but the terminology will have to be extremely watered down in order to preserve my cover as a Christian worker in a restricted access area.

Hey, Let's Try This Out

Imagine a world where young people could learn skills from others with more experience and wisdom. I know its a revolutionary idea, but I think I might call it an internship. You see, this is something that I want to put into practice with my business or craft when I get older. Wisdom and experience, to me, just seem like untapped resources that could be used to better the world and conserve resources.

I know this is on the cutting edge, but take for instance, a plumber. We'll call him Joe the plumber because that seems to be a popular name right now for a plumber. So Joe spends years plumbing; he's pretty good at it by now. With all this experience, he takes on a helper. This young helper is ready to transition his life into adulthood and simply wants to become skilled in a trade. So Joe teaches the young man everything he knows. Soon enough, the young man is skilled and ready to take on his share of the work. Joe no longer does his work alone, but can expand his business as he now has two quality plumbers to share the responsibilities. The men begin to work as equals and soon each takes on a younger man that desires to learn this skill.

This would be a remarkable system. Think about it, what if businessmen and tradesmen took on what I like to call "interns"? Blacksmiths, craftsmen, athletes, and even politicians would take on younger, inexperienced men in order to train them for future service. This system could greatly improve our quality of life. The world would become more productive, more effective, and more efficient. People would begin to better understand their position, learn to respect their elders, and grow in humility.

Now, consider this: what if the church took on these "interns"?

This isn't a new idea, everyone does it... everyone but the church. What happened to the missio dei (mission of God) that the church was/is called to fulfill? How could it fail to train a whole generation of "Christians"? Today, being Christian means attending church on Sunday and getting ahead the rest of the week with a smile. While we may believe that this is a new problem, Paul addressed the same issue in his second letter to Timothy. He warns Timothy, in verses 3 and 4, of the coming time when men with "itching ears" would seek teachers according to their own desires to lead them away from truth.

Discipleship is a fundamental necessity for the Christian faith. The church needs older men to follow the example set out in Titus 2 to teach younger men. The Great Commission itself is founded upon the command to make disciples of all nations. This is the missio dei and its time that we rediscover our purpose as the body of Christ.